I'm Good Enough!

I get the heebie jeebies when asked to share my "expertise" on parenting, or living a balanced, happier life.  As a marketing pro I'm paid for my public relations know-how.  As a yoga teacher I can certainly tell you how to do downward dog.  But parenting?  Life lessons?  My daughters regularly render me speechless and I can't find my shoes.  I'm no expert in life!

But when Rene Syler, author of Good Enough Mother: Imperfection is the New Black, asked the Listen to Your Mother cast for "Life Lessons" to post on her website, Good Enough Mother, I thought:  "This, I can do."

The entire mission of Good Enough Mother is one that makes me want to sing Hallelujah, Praise the Lord:  "It is about doing your best and understanding your best will have to do!"

Rene, the fabulous former co-anchor of CBS "The Early Show," reinvented herself as a writer and speaker when she started GEM.  "Rene was fed up watching women self-flagellate over the most innocuous of mistakes, running themselves ragged trying to keep up with society’s perception of what makes a good mother.  With GEM, Rene, AKA, the head GEM, wants women to understand how to separate what they should really worry about from what should wash off in the shower," her bio declares.

I'm honored and thrilled to be featured in GEM's "Life Lessons" today.  Here are my thoughts on what I would tell the 16 year old me, the lessons I hope I'm imparting to my kids, my secrets to happiness, biggest regrets, and the 10 words my friends and family say best describe me. 

Take a look here, enjoy GEM's information-packed website, and then tell me:  What would you tell the 16 year old you?  What are your secrets to happiness?  What words describe you?

Rene Syler:  Fierce, Fabulous, and Good Enough!

The Good in the Middle of Sadness and Loss

Facebook and email usually collapse time in joyful ways - people I haven't heard from since college now have 4 kids or made their professional dreams come true. It is a way to drop back in touch as if no time elapsed, to support each other's happenings and causes we care about, to feel connected again.

Today, I received the saddest news in my email inbox, along with a powerful call to action.  Jessica Gerber, a friend from almost 20 years ago, in the time we've been out of touch has had kids and lost her young son, Teddy, to cancer in 2010.  It is, even as I type about it, breaking my heart to know. 

But along with the news was a powerful, and simple call to action - she is asking people to vote for Teddy's 3rd grade teacher, Kristin Golia, for "Live with Kelly"'s "Top Teacher Search" award. In the midst of a devastating diagnosis and intensive treatments, Kristin tutored Teddy at home, visited him in the hospital, kept him in touch with the class via email and videos, and allowed him to be a 3rd grader.  An excerpt from Jessica's letter about Kristin: 

Later that summer, when Teddy was able to come home for a few days, Kristin visited him twice.  The second time she brought along a baby anaconda – I don’t know how she managed to convince the pet store owner to loan it out for a little while, but she did.  Teddy was holding it, when all of a sudden it decided to relieve itself on his hands.  Now at this point, Teddy was feeling awful – he hadn’t eaten sold food in months, was in constant pain, and was so sad to not be able to do anything but sit on the sofa all day.  But when that snake peed on him, Teddy laughed…hard, and I think there really was a small period of time where he forgot about everything but that silly moment.  The next day, Teddy got a fever and had to go back to Yale, where he died the following weekend.

If you read that and feel an irrepressible urge to do something, here's what you can do: 

Click on the link and vote for Kristin Golia (once a day between now and Monday, April 30 at 3pm EST): 

http://dadt.com/live/contest/topteachersearch/12/vote/ In an email, Jessica wrote to me: "Throughout the course of Teddy's illness, and since his death, I have always been so appreciative of the many ways that people in our lives, past and present, have helped us through their support and good wishes. Honoring Kristin is another way of finding the good in the middle of sadness and loss."

This is the good part of the internet collapsing time and space. We can all click and vote for the good. 

  

And now a word from...

When I did media relations and community affairs at The New York Times, part of my job was to attend events the paper sponsored in the five boroughs.  The local cultural, and/or non profit organizations hosting events like the Dragon Boat Festival in Queens graciously gave me a minute to say something at the microphone about The Times's mission.  That was usually the minute the crowd dispersed to get snacks - and who can blame them?  I'm just as likely to fast forward commercials or switch channels during a pledge drive.  And there was fried food on sticks to be had!

But where would we be without sponsors?  I knew how important sponsorship was to the Listen to Your Mother Show (the rockin' reading series I landed a spot in).  I worried that in these tough budgetary times it would be hard for our producers to shake support out of the trees. LTYM is new to NYC - who would take a chance on us?

The answer, is an amazing list of companies, organizations, local businesses, and enterprises large and small (some of them 1-mom small!).  Our energetic production team has brought aboard Fresh Direct (which has saved many a mom's sanity, including mine), the Museum of Motherhood, and if you live on the Upper West Side, check out these neighborhood gems - when you do, you know you're patronizing a store or product that supports Listen to Your Mother NYC.

Click here for a complete list and discover great businesses you'll feel good shopping at - if you have a good experience, share the news!  And then go eat as much fried food as you want.

See you May 6!

Gasp! Our Little Girl Loves...Bad Buzz!

We have 2 Buzz Lightyear dolls. Today, 11-year-old G gave one to 6-year-old R, teasing her younger sister with:

"Ha ha, you have Bad Buzz! I have Good Buzz!" 

R, quick with a retort:  "Well, that's FINE because I LOVE Bad Buzz."

G: "No you don't.  Bad Buzz is the bad guy."

R's reply?  Get this:  

 "Bad Buzz started off bad, but then he becomes good in the end. I love him because he's had ADVENTURES.  Good Buzz has only lived HALF A LIFE."

G and I are still gaping.

Six-year-old R is one passionate kid.  Her kindergarten playground crew dubbed themselves the "Ninja Werewolf Dogs" and their mission is to chase the "Crying Princesses."   Parents of several neighborhood boys say she's "the only girl my son wants to play with."  She is brash, swashbuckling, and dramatic.  In these respects, she could not be more different from me (well, except for the dramatic part).  

So while the mom in me quakes at the thought of what her teen years will bring, the good girl in me can't help but cheer:   Yes!  Live a WHOLE life, R!  Live a whole, brash, adventurous life!  

(Preferably once you've turned 21).  

Kaitlin Murphy's Facing Forty, with Love

When Kaitlin Murphy and I worked together 15 years ago in W.W. Norton's publicity department, we were both in our 20s.  She started out as my assistant, which, hordes of survivors will agree, is about as close to boot camp as you'll get in busines casual attire.  Kaitlin actually deserved a Purple Heart - after breaking her finger in the door (no doubt while rushing to make the FedEx delivery cutoff) she went on to type press releases with a bandaged hand for six weeks. 

I have a clear image of her in her office, surrounded by paper, books, jiffy bags, ringing phones, and me in her doorway yelling the equivalent of "Iceberg! Straight ahead!" and her not being fazed in the slightest.  "Here are your media lists," she might have said, saving the day once again.  We had fun, we laughed a lot.  We were young and energetic, with so much life yet to come.


How is it possible that Kaitlin just turned 40?  That would make me...well...how is it possible that Kaitlin just turned 40?  When her latest blog post "To My Forties (from My Thirties, with Love)" came up on Facebook, I didn't want to read it, because reading would make it real.  But I'm glad I did, because Kaitlin brought me right to the reality of midlife, in such a thoughtful and joyful way. 

For example:  "I learned in my thirties what I was oblivious to in my twenties. My thirties sanded rough edges, increased my level of comfort with myself and decreased my level of concern for how others viewed my choices. I figured out what I want and how to walk away from what I don’t."

And although our storylines have differed, our feelings about getting older and what the next stage in life may bring resonate:  "One thing I’m sure of," she writes. "We are not stagnant. No matter what our decade, we are still becoming."

Read her 4 pointers for facing forty with love at her blog Angels and Shipwrecks:  here
And if you're looking for a top-notch writer/communications expert/iceberg-dodger, find her bio here